Mother's Day 2014

I have never been a fan of Mother's Day, but this one was a lot of fun.  I get a little embarrassed over any accolades, and shy away from any compliments sent my way. Like most mothers I love my kids, and just tried to do my best most of the time.  Fatigue, impatience and frustration often got in the way , but I loved being a mom to little kids.  Now I am a mom to big kids!  They don't sit in your lap, and cuddle much...  I miss the snuggling and the kisses, and so I bestow them all on my little granddaughter, Ruby, (aka bubbergirl) .

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and so it was with an aching mother's heart that I beheld the most beloved faces of my missionaries.  I have not skyped with Mark since he left over a year ago, and, oh...it was so good to see his face.  I told him I wanted to kiss his dimples, just the way I did when he was little.  He looked so handsome!

Bethany looked good, calm and happy.  She begged us to ask her questions, but when confronted that way...we couldn't come up with any good ones.   We went and hauled Marty the Cat in to say hello.  He was a little sleepy and didn't give much of a response. There were questions we could have asked, but not while her companion and a family sat behind her!  I am sorry I didn't snap a picture, nor did I get one of Rachel Skyping us.  I suddenly remembered  while talking with the boys that I had a phone and immediately took a couple of pictures.    Rachel looked just the same.  She talked with the same quiet hesitation, but with a little more determination and confidence. So good to see these kids!  I hungrily drank in their faces, and remembered them as my babies, and all the love was still there for their happiness, their welfare and their continued success.  Matthew seemed a little serious, and Ben got "him" on the iPad and took him around the house for a virtual tour.  We had our two boys together, talking, and asking each other questions.  What fun to see their interaction!  They spoke a little spanish to each other, and asked questions about their missions.

Matthew:  "Why the flip do you own a 700 dollar bike when you use a car most of the time?"  I have been biking a year on a used bike they found in the shed behind the Mission Home!"

Mark:  "Well, it looks like the biking isn't helping your physique!  Why are your cheeks puffy?  How much do you weigh?"  What!  215!!  That's outrageous!  What are you eating?"

Matthew: " I drink a kale shake every day my companion prepares for me! My legs have huge muscles!"  We have to fix our own food, no one here will feed us!" They passed around a dinner schedule and no one signed up!"


Mark:  "We get fed all the time! I just had ribs, they were the best!"

(Matthew appears a little glum at this news)

Matthew:  "Well, are you teaching anyone?"

Mark:  Our most promising investigator is a sweet old ninety year old lady named Linda who has no teeth."  (imitates Linda, by pulling his lips under his teeth, and talking incoherently)  We would like to baptize her,  but we are not sure she will live through it!"

Matthew:  "Yes, we are teaching, and...doing lots of service projects".  side note...apparently there are some real hoarders in Matthew's area


What a blessing to have them call a few minutes apart.  We were not sure how to handle it, but thank goodness Ben was here and promptly got out the iPad.  I am completely blown away by today's technology.   Rachel remarked that it was like being in our dining room.  She could see the whole family eating dinner, and I showed her homemade rolls which she said she missed most! Bethany and Mark gave me a list of things they need shipped to them,  and all too soon, the conversations came to an end.  I didn't cry this time after talking to them.  It was so surreal, and yet completely natural at the same time.  It was as if time had stood still, and we were so thankful just to see them and know they are happy and busy.

I am grateful to be a mother.  I often joke that Heavenly Father gave us good kids because we are a little dense and very ADD.   He knew we couldn't handle the big problems.   Yes, we had a little difficulty losing them every now and then when they were little, but as I see them as adults....we have not lost them at all.  They have totally "arrived" and are making their mark in the world.

Happy Mother's Day to those blessed woman who influence the children in their lives!!!  It really does take a village to raise a child.  I can scarcely take credit for my children's accomplishments when they have had such wonderful examples throughout their formative years.  Thanks to all those who have loved and cared about my kids.  I needed lots of help, and I always received it!!

Ben, Matthew and Mark

together for the first time in thirteen months:D

Music and Martycat

I grew up loving music.  My parents taught me to love Tchaikovsky, Beethoven, Chopin, Schubert, Mozart, etc, etc.  My brother, David, taught me to love Bach.  The two and three part inventions soothed me, and I loved learning to play the intricate part of the fugues.  Yeah, I love all genres, (except jazz) but I love the classics.  The Brandenburg Concerto can make me positively euphoric!
It has been my privilege to teach piano for about twenty four years, and I have truly loved it.  Yes, it gets tiring at times, but the satisfaction of teaching someone to play something truly magnificent is so rewarding.  And.... teaching "Mr. Frog is full of Hops" year after year  is also very rewarding in its own right.  It's all good. We are getting ready for our summer recital, and although it's taxing, it is one of my favorite parts of teaching piano.  I love that the kids work and work at one piece until it is perfected.  Jerry can now hum quite a few selections that he hears each night!  I am sure their parents get tired of hearing the songs, but it never gets old for me.
  It was my wish that my children would learn to play, and so I taught each one of them.  All seven can play, but Adam, Bethany and Mark are the ones who enjoy it the most.  I adore the violin, and so it became my fevered hope that I would have my darling twin sons learn this instrument and play together.  How cute would that be?  Alas, Mark rebelled after a very upsetting recital and declared he would no longer take lessons.  Matthew kept trying gamely and was able to get past the squeaky, scratchy sound of the novice violin player.  He and a good friend, Drake Larsen, took from Steve Shupe, (old man Shupe as they affectionally call him) and actually started to sound pretty good!!
Drake's mother and my good friend, Alisa, and I ran with this, and started to prepare the boys to go on the road with their talents (neighborhood and ward) .  Mark was still taking piano and seemed to really be liking it.  The boys were eleven when we decided they would play, "As I have Loved You" as a trio with Drake and Matthew at the violin, and Mark accompanying them on the piano.

It took a lot of work, bribery, and threats to get them to be able to perform this one number.  I would not have called any one of them gifted by any means,  but we were determined that our three cute boys would perform it well.  Many nights were spent trying to get them in sync with each other.  Mark would play away in his own little world while Drake scratched his nose, and Matthew stared away into the distance (he is his mother's son).  The practice sessions were further hindered by the presence of our large cat, Marty. As soon as the trio would commence, he would creep, usually unnoticed , into the living room where his apparent  hatred of the combination of strings and piano would drive him to attack the innocent musician.  Usually it was the violinist, but occasionally he would even claw the unsuspecting pianist.  Alisa and I were concentrating on each note being played correctly,  and the sudden yelp of the victim would startle us into seeing the cat sink its' sharp claws whatever body part he could reach.  We never knew where he was, and we would banish him when the first altercation occurred, but when the next practice session began, the cat was lying in wait.  One would think it would affect the practicing, but either the boys secretly got a kick out of making Marty crazy, or we just got caught up in the music....either way, I think it heightened the dynamics.  The boys played their number beautifully and we couldn't have been prouder.

The boys have been out on their mission over a year now, and Mark and Matthew have played the piano.  Matthew's mission president  asked us to send his violin out to Ohio, and he has enjoyed playing at conferences and meetings.  Drake, of course, is in Russia and doesn't get the opportunity as much.  We miss the boys and their music.  They got to the point where they could "jam" together and create neat arrangements.  Gone was the day when Alisa and I begged for "just one more time through".  They would practice on their own!

In December, Drake's younger brother, Ted was asked to play at a Relief Society program.  He came over with his mom and pulled out his violin.  Alisa and I got a little emotional over the fact that the boys were gone, and here was little Ted taking up the reins.   Umm....and then, in came the cat.  We had quite forgotten how much Marty despised the violin. We got pretty excited and begged Ted to let us take pictures to send to the missionaries.  Ted was very courageous, and played away , full knowing that he was about to be attacked by a cat who hadn't had his claws nipped in some time.  I played the piano.......

Ted is anticipating "the Attack"

The "Look"

"You know I despise violin music!"

Ted is not too wounded and keeps playing

Marty has abandoned the cause

 ...... while Ted took up his bow, and Alisa snapped pictures of the perpetrator.  Mingled with our laughter was the awareness that time passes all too quickly, and the little boys who groaned and fought us with each practice session were far away.  We never thought we'd get the musical numbers completed , let alone see three small boys grow into manhood.  It was very bittersweet, and I know that both Alisa and I felt our heartstrings ping just a little, even as Ted made his violin strings sing with the strains of a Christmas melody.   Music soothes the soul, and I am so glad the boys are able to uplift others with their talents.  Alisa...I think we will have to demand a violin/piano trio next February when they come home...including Martycat!

Cherry Blossoms

I have always wished for wisdom, inspiration and courage.  I find myself often worrying about the future, and neglecting to enjoy the moments.  At this stage of my life with four kids in the mission field and three others married and on their own, I am bewildered at how quickly my life has passed.  I feel like Jacob in the Book of Mormon where he says "our lives passed away as if it were unto a dream".  Every day passes more quickly than the day before, and I , being the incessant worrier that I am, wonder that I have not done all that I should have....and am running out of time!

      

And then, a sweet knowledge of the Gospel dulls that other worry and reminds me that we have time. That this life will continue unto the next and become eternity because of the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ.  He has a future for us, and we shall know the fulness of it in the hereafter.  If we are faithful, if we persevere, if we embrace all that life has to offer....we will be brought into His presence and crowned with glory, immortality and eternal life.  

I find myself having to cultivate new hope every day!   There are so many pitfalls in mortality.  I do not pretend to know and understand some of the deep sorrows that come to many in this life.  I find myself often unable to watch the news because I anguish over the trials that some must face. 

My faith tells me that all will be rectified, and that we will come to understand the winds of adversity. Even so, sometimes it is the small things in life that cause me worry and self-doubt. 

 I admit that I fall short in my daily commitments to be better, to be stronger , to accomplish more!  Elizabeth Edwards (love her writing) said that she hoped her children remembered that when" she stood in the storm, and the  wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails.  

I talked to my friend Laurie who is very blunt in her perspective on life and its' joys and sorrows.  She asks me all the time "why do you worry? concentrate on what is good!"  "live in the moment!"  I told her about my little cherry tree and how I worried that the wind would come and blow away the blossoms before I had a chance to enjoy them.  (don't know why that came up)  She said, "Go outside and look at it now...enjoy it tonight in case they do blow away tomorrow!" I thought about that.  I thought about that fact that every Spring the blossoms appear.  I don't have to do anything; they just show up one random day every April.  They might blow away before their time to fall, and inevitably they do just that...because that is what they are supposed to do!  The tree grows leaves, and then in the fall they change to brilliant colors, shrivel and fall to the ground.   But there is always a Spring!! I will see blossoms again!

How grateful I am for the Springs in my life.  Even though I may have allowed weaknesses to develop in my character and made poor choices, there is always a redemptive power.  Because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I can always be grateful for the season of Spring and the rebirth of the world around us.  We can also be grateful for the winters of our lives and be honed and refined when adversity comes to us.  

What a wonderful Easter spent with family and contemplating the blessings of my life.  I am so proud of four kids who are testifying of Christ in the mission field. I cannot even comprehend the magnitude of the Atonement, but I know that because of His perfect love for me, I shall be able to surmount the storms in my life.  

When I received this picture I was startled by the change I could see in Mark.  Physically, he looks bigger and older. While I know that one year has passed since I have seen my son, this one picture reminds me that time is passing all too quickly.  It has been said that the only thing constant is change, and I still resist it even if the change is good.

Mark is now serving in Oklahoma.  He finally admitted in his last e-mail that Vernon, Texas was a little difficult.  He said, "I'm not gonna lie, it was really hard".  I am sure he has grown from his experience, and is now on a new adventure.

Rachel is in Waterford, Michigan and is a Sister Training Leader.  She loves it, and although she also had a rough go of it in her last area admits to some real growth.  She says she has more patience, more love for the scriptures, has developed an ability to find the good in others, and is so grateful for trials.

Matthew was just reassigned to Madison, a very rural area of Ohio, where to his dismay---he is again riding a bike.  He says his heart sank when he heard the news because he is so tired.  He has been on a bike his entire mission, but he says it is a beautiful part of the country and he will learn to love it.

Bethany is still enjoying Canyon Country where she taught a very nice lady named Shirley who was baptized.  Bethany says she is like a Grandma, and loves her dearly.

So the missionaries are doing well, and are changing for the better.  I, who just ate an entire roll of Girl Scout Thin Mints, am not so sure.  I marvel at the fortitude of my kids, and am so thankful for their service in the mission field.   I am home on this overcast day trying to muddle through the housework (it's just me and Jerry living here, for pete's sake) and wanting to go and curl up with a book.

Rachel will be home in just six months, and so it begins.  This period of time was not so very long after all and like it or not, more change will be forthcoming as they all come home and resume their lives.
Mark stated that "missions are way easier than real life!".  He might have a point.   I do know that I need to gather my thoughts, my courage and my resolve to conquer a few things myself.  Every day  we face choices that will change us for the better, leave us stagnant, or worse....take us backwards.

Spring is coming, and I feel just a little bit better about accomplishing some tasks.  I am not sure why I am always at war with myself, but I would love to gain self mastery.  I think it is one of the most important things we can develop.  I believe I will put on some music and get to accomplishing something...anything!!  I need to pretend that a very important person is going to come and go through my house!    pause.....   Ah oh...Dorma just called.  The Women's Conference meeting is tonight!  aack!!  Now I really do need to hurry!!

   Happy Spring Vacation , everyone!!

Rachel must be imagining Spring!

Matthew at the Cleveland Zoo

Mark---looking very contemplative

Bethany, Shirley and Sister Wood

Disneyland with Besties

The "inner circle" so named by my friend MaryAnn's son consists of me and four close friends.  I am a people person and have many wonderful people in my life who I consider my close friends.  These four are women I have traveled with over the course of thirty plus years.  With my last four kids out of the house serving missions, my friends have become even more important to me.  You might well ask, "aren't you married, Jane?"  Well, yes, I am....  Jerry, of course, is a very important person being my husband and all.  and I do relish time spent with just him in the quietness of our home.  He has even started accompanying me on my errands which is rather unusual for him.  However, he does not like to spend money and has been fairly vocal about his dislike for Disneyland, a favorite place of mine.

   For my 58th birthday, my friends and I decided we were going to make it to Disneyland before we were too old to hobble around.  MaryAnn was unable to come, but Dorma, Debbie, Lori and I were stoked on the idea.  I saved some Christmas money, (thanks, JoAnn--my generous mother-in-law) and we were able to get a good deal on a flight.  Dorma got us some cheap tickets to Disneyland with her military discount, and we were on our way!!
  We left on my birthday, and met up in California with Debbie, our friend from Moses Lake, Washington.  We immediately made our way to Disneyland where too much fun awaited us.  It really is a happy place to be, and we saw lots of young families and young couples.  I use the term "young" because it appeared to me that we were the oldest people in the park.  Obviously this was not the case, but it did seem that most people our age were accompanying their kids and grandkids.  Frankly, they looked a little tired.  We were re-energized, delighted to be together and in the "happiest place on earth".  We walked and walked, took in the sights, rode every ride to be ridden (maybe not such a good idea) and loved every minute of our adventure.  I will not soon be riding the Matterhorn again in this lifetime.  Lori claimed that you can't go to Disneyland and not ride the Matterhorn.  I knew it was a bad idea, but I gamely wedged myself in the seat, made sure my body was not going anywhere, and hung on for dear life. My body stayed put, but, alas, my head did not.   I heard people screaming in delight, and in my mind, I was screaming too although I  was being whipped around too hard for any sound to come from my mouth. Lori, who was in the car behind me,  claimed my head bobbled exactly like those bobble-heads you used to see  in the back of people's cars. My brain felt fuzzy for an hour afterward.  A root canal with no anesthia would have been more fun.

  It rained a bit, and we were fine with it because California needed it so badly.  We were not going to let a little precipitation ruin our good time.   It was a little nippy, so we all purchased four warm, red sweatshirts with large letters labeling us BEACH PATROL.  This made it very easy to pick each other out in a crowd and also helped everyone in Disneyland to spot us from a distance.  We were in such a congenial mood that we didn't mind when we got some odd questions from people.  Generally, they wanted to know if we were in a club or something.  One lady asked if we were were lifeguards!  "Yup, we are senior citizens who like to hang out on beaches waiting to save people"....  One old guy who brandished a nice cane would wave it high in the air when he saw us, shouting "Save me, Girls!!"

The rain politely waited until we were inside the attractions and then misted gently when we were out and walking.  The next day the sun was out again, and we watched parades , shows and fireworks.  It was a grand way to spend my birthday and one I shall not soon forget.  We decided we were up for a little more entertainment and decided to make a visit to Universal Studios on Saturday.  We were all quite proud that we held up so well in spite of all the walking (and my bad knees) and commended each other on a great vacation and a great time had by all!

   We told ourselves we were in fine shape for our ages but decided our minds were going when  we arrived at the Salt Lake Airport with no memory of where we had parked the car.  It was soon apparent that none of us remembered much of anything after  boarding the shuttle.  We vaguely remember the shuttle driver telling us to take note, but we apparently paid her no mind.   I tried to convince the others that our car was in a section with a  rhyming alphabet and number such as B3, but it was not the case. I am not sure where that came from--Maybe the last few years of teaching letters, numbers  and rhyming words?   We casually disembarked the shuttle thinking that we could transverse the general area (which was huge) in the dark and cold and surely come across the car amidst hundreds of vehicles.  After ten minutes of futile searching we sheepishly made our way to one of the stations and called the emergency number.  Cody and his truck showed up , lights flashing where he tried to tell us that "this happens often".  He threw our suitcases in the back of his vehicle and we climbed in to go  looking for Lori's Ford Escort.  We re-traced the route we took and found it without too many minutes passing.  Cody was all smiles, and so patient as he led the way to the exit.  We were snickering just a bit over the occurence and grateful that we were on our way home.  Dorma tried to give the attendant a megaplex show ticket  when asked for the parking ticket, and we became quite hysterical with laughter.  She never did find it, and as we looked old and tired; the man behind the glass was filled with either compassion or exasperation.   He told us the approximate  fee for five days, and we soon were on the way home.  A fitting end to a great time with friends.  Life is so much better when you can find things to laugh about, and with this group of friends, there is always plenty of material!

My 58th birthday--I think I have a picture of my great grandmother looking pensive like this.

Disneyland, here we come!!

me, Lori , Debbie, and Dorma

Rain Rain  go away, we girls want to play!

The Tower of Terror was more fun than I thought!

Ready to come home?  Not!!

Universal Studios

Dorma making "the call"

Cody, the kind  rescuer of forgetful "older" women

Fireworks are always thrilling if you're young at heart

His weight made me think of mine.....

Last week I got a picture from Matthew sitting with his companion.  He did not look like the same boy I sent on a mission almost a year ago.  He looked different.  About thirty pounds different!  He has said in recent e-mails that he has been biking and becoming very "buff".  I believe that if he stays "buff" , people will finally be able to see the difference between my identical twin boys!  They have always looked a little different to the immediate family.  When they were born, however, I actually did paint Mark's fingernails so that for the first month or so I would not make a mistake.  Soon their personalities emerged and we were able to clearly see there were differences.  For most of their almost twenty years,  they have been the same height and weight.....the picture I saw refuted this.

Elder Taylor and Elder Cuestas

 I am certainly not bothered by the fact that Matthew has put on a little weight.  I hear wonderful things about him from his mission president and wife, and I am much more concerned about his work ethic and his spiritual development.  I just know it has made me think about the weight that I have put on a since the boys' births and wonder now if I have changed in other positive ways.

I remember being sooo pregnant with them the Christmas of 1993, about six weeks before their birth.  I just wanted my pre-pregnant body back.  I requested a bike for Christmas.  I was going to ride up and down the streets of Washington Terrace with my new postpartum body and take back my former self.  Little did I know that I would spend the next few years in survival mode and that included ingesting a whole lot of chocolate.

CHRISTMAS 1993

The weight has come and gone, but mostly stayed, and now it is not just about looking a certain way.  My 58th birthday is Wednesday, and my knees are pretty bad.  I need to concentrate on eating healthy, and strive just a little harder (okay ..a lot harder) to get in some exercise, portion control and to develop self mastery over a whole lot of things.

This mission was to be not only an self improvement  experience for my kids, but also for their mother.  I wanted to better myself, and so far, have not done much in any one area.  I find myself still struggling to just work, and get through each day with a positive attitude.  I am thankful for my many blessings,  and want to feel gratitude instead of weariness.  By the way, that bike never did get used much, and sadly went the way of most of our other exercise equipment.

I am going to start small, and cut out sugar from my diet!  Yikes!!!  That does sound drastic, but I think it is necessary.  I am sadly addicted to having a little something every day,  and it doesn't help that I have a box of treats under my couch for the piano students.

The boys are turning 20 on February 6th, and I can scarcely believe it!

MATTHEW AND MARK --ONE YEAR

MATTHEW AND MARK--19 YEARS

                                HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOYS!!!!!  WE LOVE YOU!!!!        

Warm and Cold

Mark says that this snow was about all they got in December and it is all gone now.

Mark, Elder Guzman and the ward missionaries.

preparing to bundle up

She loves her California winter

Bethany's home in Canyon Country California

Which road would be "less traveled"?

Elders Taylor and Cuevas preparing to go riding.  Matthew has been on a bike his entire mission.

This is "so" Rachel.  She likes photos to prompt questions.....Not sure which question to ask!! 

Ben, this is for you....her "selfies" drive him crazy

Two missionaries are cold, one not so much, and one is living in paradise.  Poor Matthew and Rachel have been been part of the artic freeze, and have had to stay in a couple of days because of the extreme cold.

They all have good attitudes about the weather (who wouldn't have a nice feeling about the weather in California?)  However, Matthew and Rachel say that the cold gives them a little extra time to study the Gospel.  They have not always been able to go out every day, and Matthew has played Risk a bit (is that an approved missionary activity?) Mark loves Vernon and the people he has met.  He claims it is like his second home now.  Matthew is plugging along with Elder Cuevas, who is from Guatemala.  Most people do not want to hear their message, but he is gamely still trying to talk to people.  Mark is determined to be happy in spite of the lack of work, and Bethany is finding out that missions are challenging.  Rachel is ready for a change , I think, but writes pretty optimistic letters.

I am in awe of their determination and fortitude.  I am cold, and impatient right now...and I am in my own home!  Missions are hard, and I told them that before they left.  Rachel wrote in one letter, "missions are all about getting out of your comfort zones, and I am just going to embrace this new adventure."  She said that her mission president used to say, "There's no growth in the comfort zone and no comfort in the growth zone."   She goes on to say, "  It is part of our spiritual nature to continually progress and learn.  That's our whole reason for being here on Earth.  If we tell ourselves that we're comfortable with where we are and see no reason to change, we are denying ourselves the opportunity to become more like God.  God has given us his power to learn and progress so that one day we can become more like Him.  Everything we go through in life is to prepare us for our life to come.  God gives us certain trials and obstacles to shape us into who he needs us to become.  He has a divine purpose for us and he has given us tools to help us fulfull that purpose."

She then quotes 2 Corinthians 4 17-18, "For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory: while we looke not as the things which are not seen, but as the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal."

It is wonderful to hear of their growth.  I must admit it spurs me to try to be a little better.  I am presently in one of  my of  least favorite months of the year, and do not ask myself to do much of anything outside of work and piano lessons.  I tell myself I will feel better as February comes on...

I just read "The Rent Collector" and I am filled with gratitude for all that I possess in the way of family, friends and spiritual blessings.  I am not living in a dump in Cambodia, and my kids are healthy and happy, unlike the main character in this wonderful story.  Cultivating an air of gratitude for everything I possess is my goal this year.

"Come what may and love it"