The fearful mom and the faithful four: Grandmahood

Matthew and Mark are uncles to a sweet baby girl named Ruby Fay Morris. She was born on St. Patrick's Day at 2:07 in the morning, and I was present at her birth. It was definitely one of the highlights of my life, even surpassing the birth of my own children! How is that possible, you ask? Well, let me just say (a little reluctantly) that I was so concerned with people, pain and anxiety, I could scarcely take it all in.... When Ruby was born, I witnessed her first breath, the blink-blink of her eyes, and the flailing of her tiny limbs as she struggled to take in the noise and light of her new world. My babies were handed to me all snuggled up in a blanket, and it has always taken me more than a minute to adjust to any new change in my environment. I anguished over them even as I marveled at the miracle their arrival was....and wondered if I could provide them with everything they needed--physically, emotionally and spiritually. I felt only excitement over Ruby's birth, and rejoiced in her safe arrival.
Emily is a wonderful mother, and has immediately bonded with her sweet little daughter. As she put it, "we are so much in love with this baby". All is how it should be, and Emily, thank goodness, feels none of the anxiety I had with my babies. She named the baby Ruby Fay because she and Layne like the name Ruby, and because she loved her Grandmother Fay D. Johnson.

I wish to pay tribute to my mom who was an incredible example to me. Because she was an exemplary grandmother to my children, I believe I can carry the torch high and strive to be that sort of grandma. The kind of grandma who makes her home one of conditional love and a delightful place to visit as well. Mom had a corner in her kitchen where grandkids cut, pasted, and colored to their heart's content. She had a cookie jar that was always filled, and a freezer full of wonderful things to eat. She played games, sang songs, and rocked babies. Every holiday was special because Mom made it so. She taught by word and example. She was not perfect, but even her imperfections were endearing. To know Fay Johnson was to love her. I only wish that I , as well as my kids, had a few more years with her.

I credit my testimony of the Gospel to my mother and father. I want my legacy to be as my mother's was, to be there for the ones I love, and to inspire goodness in their lives. Wow, I guess that means I will have to clean up my act and do better in my own life. There is nothing like a new life coming into your family that motivates you to be a better person, to analyze the sort of things you could improve upon in your own life. Believe me, there are many!!

Ruby, we wish for every good thing that life has to offer, and are so honored to be able to watch you grow. I hope that you do not live too far away, and that this Grandma gets to love you a little more personally than a visit or two every year would allow. Our Matthew and Mark will get to meet a big two year old when they return from their missions, as will Rachel who adores her already!! We love you, sweet baby and wish we could snuggle you every day.

I think that Ruby's Grandma Morris will be able to be the crafty grandma. Many grandmothers make or crochet for their grandchildren. My dear friend, Vickie, crocheted a darling little jacket for Ruby because she knows I do not do that sort of thing. I have not made a quilt for sweet Ruby. I have a wonderfully talented friend, MaryAnn, who is making her the quilt of a lifetime. It will be amazing and will have some incredibly clever saying handstitched onto it. I detest making crafts of all kinds, but admire them and the people who make them. Anyone who has ever watched me fumble at Relief Society Super Saturdays where they put together cutesy crafts know they are not my talent.... I have burned myself with the glue gun, melted Robin Barker's glasses with it, mutilated my craft and my neighbor's creation. Some of the sisters would come to those activities just to laugh themselves sick over my goof-ups. If Jane Taylor was there, a good time was sure to be had!! I have yet to discover exactly where my talents lie, but I think I can be a good grandma, nevertheless.

Babies need love and I know I can provide that! I will not be sewing, crocheting, scrapbooking, or
painting odds and ends. I hope that someday I will read, cook and shop with her, and that she will love the "uncreative" grandma who is just as fun as the talented ones! My legacy will be the time I spend with her.