Another one bites the dust AKA Our little Rachel is all grown up

Sometimes I feel as I am living a dream where if I just go to sleep, I'll wake up and be living the life I thought about when I was a little girl.  I always wanted kids, and I was the one who got excited when I was able to add the blue and pink peg children to my plastic car in the game of Life.  Babies and kids intrigued me.  I wanted to rock babies and bake cookies, and I got that life.  Now, to be honest, there were the many moments where I thought, "Get me out of here", and actually went for the door when Jerry arrived home from work.  I have been thinking so much about the past lately that I had a dream where I was with my little babies, and the feeling was ever so sweet!!  I drank in their small faces, and my heart was melting with so much love.  I had forgotten their little voices,  and their tiny hands as they pulled at me for attention.  I didn't want to wake up because the feeling of being with my young children was heaven.  I guess I am now the mother of these adult children and although I love my personal time, I miss the craziness of raising a big family.   I look at my kids, and am so proud of their accomplishments, but I feel as if I am longing for their childhoods that are now past.  I can't seem to connect the babies I bore with the adult people I love today.  I loved them then, and I love them now although I wish I weren't so melancholy about it all.  Perhaps it is because I am saying goodbye for a time to another child.
   Rachel was completely adorable as a baby and a little girl.   She talked at an early age, and would sing "appy irthay oo you" at the age of 18 months.  She ate everything she could get her hands on, and if we couldn't find her, we just went to where the food was.....she would be completely happy as long as there was something to eat.  Go figure!!  Now she is the skinniest of all of us!!   Although we wondered if she still had her food fetish when she arrived home from Europe with pictures of her meals instead of castles!!
 She was as stubborn as they come, and when we tried to get her to perform her little songs or stories, she would say emphatically, "My doesn't want to!"  She wrote on every wall in the house, and those were the days of wallpaper.  She grew up loving art, books and photography, and always had an "artist's soul".  She is quiet but has a crazy side to her as well.  She is most certainly ditsy in an endearing way, and has obviously inherited my Attention Deficit Disorder.
  Rachel is stronger than anyone knows, and if she decide to do something, then it is the right thing to do.  She is opinionated about certain things, and nothing can sway her.  It is her strong testimony of this Gospel and her testimony of personal revelation that has led her to make the choice to serve a mission. She loves her Savior, Jesus Christ, and she is excited to talk about Him to the people of Michigan.
I know that this experience will help her to grow in ways that will enrich her life, and bring happiness to others that she will meet over the next few months.
   We packed tuesday night, (or should I say Dorma packed---I think we will have her over for Bethany's "packing of the suitcase" when she leaves!!  Rachel was in bed a little late that night, but as I did a few last minute things, I opened her door softly to see if she was still awake.  She was "out like a light" and on her back with her arms over her head like she did when she was a little girl.  The tears started to flow for me, and I knelt and kissed her on her cheek just as I did at bedtime when she was small.  She did not awake, and for a moment, I was transported back to other bedtimes years ago.  Then, I said goodbye just for the night knowing I would see her little face in the morning.  I shall not see her for awhile, but we raise our kids knowing all too well that they will someday spread their wings and fly from our little nest.  Hopefully, I taught her something, but I know she will learn so much more from  her experience.
    We took Rachel to MTC on Wednesday, April 24, stopping by Post Mart to drop off packages for Mitchell and to pick one up for Drake.  Rachel brought a jacket at Burlington Coat Factory and a cool study journal at the Sister's Missionary Store.  Then it was time....we took a couple of pictures at the temple, and drove down to the now all too familiar MTC.  We pulled over to the curb where her host,  "cannot remember her name sister missionary", introduced herself and a couple of enthusiastic Elders pulled the luggage from our car.  All too quickly, after a picture was snapped, she was gone....but looked back as she walked away from us for 18 months.  And this mother got to cry again,  because the pain of separation is real, but the smiles and  exuberant waves from those young people made me joyful in spite of myself.
   Our little Rachel is all grown up!!  God Speed, Sister Taylor!!  Until we meet again:)

                                                        

                                                       

                                            

   

                  My beautiful daughter, Rachel Lynn Taylor