Cleaning and Speaking and Eating

Yesterday Matthew and Mark spoke in Sacrament meeting.  They were the whole program as they added a wonderful musical number performed by their great friends.  Thanks to Sami Bingham who played magnificently as those talented young people sang their hearts out and rendered a heartfelt "Armies of Helaman/Sister's of Zion medley.  I started the meeting with dry eyes, but immediately teared up as Matthew, Mark and their friends begin singing.  I saw friends they had known since they were tiny.  I looked at friends who were getting ready to serve missions, friends who had been always been there for my boys.  In my mind's eyes,  I saw those children, once dependent on us, strong and independent now and ready to take their place in the world.  Rachel stood with her brothers as one who is preparing to leave for her mission in April, and my heart begin melting as I memorized every detail of my kids.  Eyes were shining and their testimonies were borne as they proclaimed truth even as my own eyes spilled over.
   The last few weeks, I have scrutinized their faces as they talk and laugh.  It reminds me of when they were babies, and I couldn't get enough of looking at them, and taking in every little detail.  I certainly can't kiss their size fourteen feet, (nor would I want to) or nuzzle them under their sweet little chins that can become a little stubbly with hair,  but they will always be the babies I rocked to sleep.  This will never change, and I mourn the little children I now miss who have grown into such tall, handsome young men.
   But, yeah, they still show their kid side, and most of the time that is okay with me.  I want to feel like I can still be the mom even if the mom has to snarl at them every now and then.  I will miss the noise and chaos that was our house this last Sunday.  There were a lot of friends lining up to eat in our small house.  People were everywhere, and I even spotted a few kids hanging downstairs by the cat box!  How pathetic is that!

    I am used to preparing huge amounts of food, but I am not so good at putting things in order.  Dorma, my next door neighbor and forever friend, brought over her nifty 1,600.00 vacuum to do all my carpets and rugs. Now, anyone who knows us well,  knows we could be putting someone through college or taking a family trip to Europe with all the money we have spent on vacuums.  We don't want to spend a lot all at once, so we have bought several through the years, and they always break down.  It seems less painful to put a couple of hundred dollars towards cheap vacuums every year than to buy something that actually works.  I don't even want to add up the money we have wasted. Suffice it to say, we just use Dorma's beautiful vacuum when we get frightened at the accumulation of dust our stupid appliance doesn't seem to be handling.
   I don't want people to think we are hoarders or something.  We wash our hands when we prepare food, and all of our cats are accounted for...(wait, didn't Nipper go missing last October?)  I think I really will start a vacuum fund.  It helps that we have laminate flooring and tile,  but it's time!!  So, I digress because I write much the same as I talk...my thoughts wander.  This is not an English paper, it is my blog and this is me.
   Thank you, Alisa, for your delicious pulled pork for the sandwiches.  Thanks to everyone who bought such good salads, cookies and brownies.  I managed to make mexican caviar, potato and jello salad, but I really couldn't have done it without everyone's help.  Poor Gayle came to eat, and spent much of her time backed into a corner making nice cuts in the rolls for the pulled pork.  I feel loved, and I am never quite sure why people step in to help me. I think I must appear especially pathetic.  This after-the-talk luncheon is the "Bar Mitzvah" of we mormons when our children prepare to go out into the world and its' success is important!
    We are going to St. George on Wednesday for one last "little" trip with the "faithful" four and I am looking forward to having everyone smooshed together with no distractions. I was thinking Spring would be trying to come down there, but at any rate it has to be warmer and have less snow than here!