Sunday, April 28, 2013

Another one bites the dust AKA Our little Rachel is all grown up

Sometimes I feel as I am living a dream where if I just go to sleep, I'll wake up and be living the life I thought about when I was a little girl.  I always wanted kids, and I was the one who got excited when I was able to add the blue and pink peg children to my plastic car in the game of Life.  Babies and kids intrigued me.  I wanted to rock babies and bake cookies, and I got that life.  Now, to be honest, there were the many moments where I thought, "Get me out of here", and actually went for the door when Jerry arrived home from work.  I have been thinking so much about the past lately that I had a dream where I was with my little babies, and the feeling was ever so sweet!!  I drank in their small faces, and my heart was melting with so much love.  I had forgotten their little voices,  and their tiny hands as they pulled at me for attention.  I didn't want to wake up because the feeling of being with my young children was heaven.  I guess I am now the mother of these adult children and although I love my personal time, I miss the craziness of raising a big family.   I look at my kids, and am so proud of their accomplishments, but I feel as if I am longing for their childhoods that are now past.  I can't seem to connect the babies I bore with the adult people I love today.  I loved them then, and I love them now although I wish I weren't so melancholy about it all.  Perhaps it is because I am saying goodbye for a time to another child.
   Rachel was completely adorable as a baby and a little girl.   She talked at an early age, and would sing "appy irthay oo you" at the age of 18 months.  She ate everything she could get her hands on, and if we couldn't find her, we just went to where the food was.....she would be completely happy as long as there was something to eat.  Go figure!!  Now she is the skinniest of all of us!!   Although we wondered if she still had her food fetish when she arrived home from Europe with pictures of her meals instead of castles!!
 She was as stubborn as they come, and when we tried to get her to perform her little songs or stories, she would say emphatically, "My doesn't want to!"  She wrote on every wall in the house, and those were the days of wallpaper.  She grew up loving art, books and photography, and always had an "artist's soul".  She is quiet but has a crazy side to her as well.  She is most certainly ditsy in an endearing way, and has obviously inherited my Attention Deficit Disorder.
  Rachel is stronger than anyone knows, and if she decide to do something, then it is the right thing to do.  She is opinionated about certain things, and nothing can sway her.  It is her strong testimony of this Gospel and her testimony of personal revelation that has led her to make the choice to serve a mission. She loves her Savior, Jesus Christ, and she is excited to talk about Him to the people of Michigan.
I know that this experience will help her to grow in ways that will enrich her life, and bring happiness to others that she will meet over the next few months.
   We packed tuesday night, (or should I say Dorma packed---I think we will have her over for Bethany's "packing of the suitcase" when she leaves!!  Rachel was in bed a little late that night, but as I did a few last minute things, I opened her door softly to see if she was still awake.  She was "out like a light" and on her back with her arms over her head like she did when she was a little girl.  The tears started to flow for me, and I knelt and kissed her on her cheek just as I did at bedtime when she was small.  She did not awake, and for a moment, I was transported back to other bedtimes years ago.  Then, I said goodbye just for the night knowing I would see her little face in the morning.  I shall not see her for awhile, but we raise our kids knowing all too well that they will someday spread their wings and fly from our little nest.  Hopefully, I taught her something, but I know she will learn so much more from  her experience.
    We took Rachel to MTC on Wednesday, April 24, stopping by Post Mart to drop off packages for Mitchell and to pick one up for Drake.  Rachel brought a jacket at Burlington Coat Factory and a cool study journal at the Sister's Missionary Store.  Then it was time....we took a couple of pictures at the temple, and drove down to the now all too familiar MTC.  We pulled over to the curb where her host,  "cannot remember her name sister missionary", introduced herself and a couple of enthusiastic Elders pulled the luggage from our car.  All too quickly, after a picture was snapped, she was gone....but looked back as she walked away from us for 18 months.  And this mother got to cry again,  because the pain of separation is real, but the smiles and  exuberant waves from those young people made me joyful in spite of myself.
   Our little Rachel is all grown up!!  God Speed, Sister Taylor!!  Until we meet again:)




   

                  My beautiful daughter, Rachel Lynn Taylor








Monday, April 22, 2013

Chinese Chicken Salad makes everything better

This last Sunday we heard Rachel speak in Sacrament.  She did a tremendous job, and we are so proud of her.   We snickered a little  as poor Brother John tried to lead us in an intermediate hymn.  Rachel beat him to the podium, and he patiently sat down.  However, he gamely tried to lead us in singing again afterwards, but the Bishop was eager to say a few remarks, and Brother John dejectedly sat down and gave up!

 Lately I have watching videos (all three of them) of the kids when they were little.  As is my nature, I don't keep up on much and we watch the same videos over and over again.  They serve to remind me that childhood is fleeting as is life, and we need to push "pause" and enjoy it more.  Two things came to mind as I watched these videos!  First--how cute the kids were, and secondly--how much thinner I appeared to be.  I was so startled by my younger, skinnier self that I almost could not pay sufficient attention to the images of my darling children.  And they were....Rachel, a cute little moppet with red curls and round blue eyes, and the boys, identical little tow headed demons.  Ahhh....I miss the babies they were, and now I see that I will someday miss the people that they are becoming now.

  Preparing for these busy Sundays are a little overwhelming to me.  I cannot remember what food item I  assigned to which person, and as I do not keep lists of any kind, must rely on my memory.  As most of you know, my memory is fading quickly as evidenced by the fact I sent 650 dollars for a bike to the wrong boy in the wrong mission!!

   Anyway, I digress from the most important part of the day---the Chinese Chicken Salad!  Rachel requested it for her after-the-talk-meal and I was only too happy to oblige.  Especially when my friend Alisa will fry all the won tons and rice sticks on her outdoor grill.  Thank you, Alisa, or should I say Megan, her daughter, who turned out nicely browned wontons, and perfect rice sticks.  This is a salad that was first introduced to me at a baby shower for Ben and Emily in our old ward in North Ogden.  I thought it was the most delicious thing I had ever ingested, and now it is a frequently requested dish.
I have added cashews and substituted Red Wine Vinegar and it is delicious.  Oh, and throw in extra sugar and freshly ground pepper.  I used to serve it in a huge stainless steel bowl passed down to me from my dear mother, but it disappeared.  Where did it go, you ask?  What a silly question----everyone who knows our household knows we have a black hole through which countless things have never reappeared.   I purchased another one, but it was not anywhere as good as our old one which not only held rolls and Chinese Chicken Salad, but served as a nice sled in the winter.

   As I got our new bowl out, I noticed it did not look as symmetrical anymore.  It had huge, misshapen dents everywhere on the bottom.  I wanted to muse on this mystery for awhile, but I was too busy.  When Rachel and Matt Roper came to eat after Sacrament meeting, they said something suspicious about the bowl, and I eagerly picked it up to point out the dented bottom.  They got a good laugh out of that as they told me the boys, now being nineteen years old, had used our "newer" bowl as a sled last February.  Obviously it had not held up nearly as well as the old one.  I may have to send a picture to the boys with no explanation added!!!


   Thank you to everyone who came and shared Rachel's special day.  I wish I had cleaned up the yard, and apologize to those of you who ate your food while looking at unmowed grass and a back yard that had been through a rough winter.  I hope the good food distracted you, and the "three hundred rolls" that Alisa turned out were extra wonderful.

  The only thing that would make the day more special is if we were celebrating Rachel's return to the arms of her loving family.  Yeah, I know....we are so excited about her new adventure, but a mother's heart dreads that last goodbye at the MTC---still to come!!!
                                    This one is for you Ben!!
                                 Rachel with Aimee
                                             oh why did I not clean up the yard?
                                    Bethany and Daniel mugging for the camera
                                   Our Rachel:)
Rachel and Kylie, friends forever
                                    Ruby will be older and maybe smiling when Rachel comes back!
                                      Or...maybe she is just like the rest of us, sad to say goodbye:(
 
                                     Bethany, Debbie and Rachel
   

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Grandmahood

Matthew and Mark are uncles to a sweet baby girl named Ruby Fay Morris.  She was born on St. Patrick's Day at 2:07 in the morning, and I was present at her birth.  It was definitely one of the highlights of my life, even surpassing the birth of my own children! How is that possible, you ask?  Well, let me just say (a little reluctantly)  that I was so concerned with people, pain and anxiety, I could scarcely take it all in....   When Ruby was born, I witnessed her first breath, the blink-blink of her eyes, and the flailing of her tiny limbs as she struggled to take in the noise and light of her new world.  My babies were handed to me all snuggled up in a blanket, and it has always taken me more than a minute to adjust to any new change in my environment. I anguished over them even as I marveled at the miracle their arrival was....and wondered if I could provide them with everything they needed--physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I felt only excitement over Ruby's birth, and rejoiced in her safe arrival.
     Emily is a wonderful mother, and has immediately bonded with her sweet little daughter.  As she put it, "we are so much in love with this baby".  All is how it should be, and Emily, thank goodness, feels none of the anxiety I had with my babies.  She named the baby Ruby Fay because she and Layne like the name Ruby, and because she loved her Grandmother Fay D. Johnson.

 I wish to pay tribute to my mom who was an incredible example to me.  Because she was an exemplary grandmother to my children, I believe I can carry the torch high and strive to be that sort of grandma.  The kind of grandma who makes her home one of conditional love and a delightful place to visit as well.  Mom had a corner in her kitchen where grandkids cut, pasted, and colored to their heart's content.  She had a cookie jar that was always filled, and a freezer full of wonderful things to eat.  She played games, sang songs, and rocked babies.  Every holiday was special because Mom made it so.  She taught by word and example.  She was not perfect, but even her imperfections were endearing.  To know Fay Johnson was to love her.  I only wish that I , as well as my kids, had a few more years with her.

   I credit my testimony of the Gospel to my mother and father.  I want my legacy to be as my mother's was, to be there for the ones I love, and to inspire goodness in their lives.  Wow, I guess that means I will have to clean up my act and do better in my own life.  There is nothing like a new life coming into your family that motivates you to be a better person, to analyze the sort of things you could improve upon in your own life.  Believe me, there are many!!

    Ruby, we wish for every good thing that life has to offer, and are so honored to be able to watch you grow.  I hope that you do not live too far away, and that this Grandma gets to love you a little more personally than a visit or two  every year would allow.  Our Matthew and Mark will get to meet a big two year old when they return from their missions, as will Rachel who adores her already!!  We love you, sweet baby and wish we could snuggle you every day.

   I think that Ruby's Grandma Morris will be able to be the crafty grandma. Many grandmothers make or crochet for their grandchildren. My dear friend, Vickie, crocheted a darling little jacket for Ruby because she  knows I do not do that sort of thing. I have not made a quilt for sweet Ruby.  I have a wonderfully talented friend, MaryAnn, who is making her the quilt of a lifetime.  It will be amazing and will have some incredibly clever saying handstitched  onto it.  I detest making crafts of all kinds, but admire them and the people who make them.  Anyone who has ever watched me fumble at Relief Society Super Saturdays where they put together cutesy crafts know they are not my talent....  I have burned myself with the glue gun, melted Robin Barker's glasses with it,  mutilated my craft and my neighbor's creation.  Some of the sisters would come to those activities just to laugh themselves sick over my goof-ups.   If Jane Taylor was there, a good time was sure to be had!! I have yet to discover exactly where my talents lie, but I think I can be a good grandma, nevertheless.  

   Babies need love and I know I can provide that! I will not be sewing, crocheting, scrapbooking, or
painting odds and ends.  I hope  that someday I will read, cook and shop with her, and that she will love the "uncreative" grandma who is just as fun as the talented ones!  My legacy will be the time  I spend with her.
                                                           a few minutes old...

                                                           meeting mom
                                                        Ruby Fay Morris and Jane Taylor
                                                           Life is already exhausting!

                                              a week old, and a little more bright eyed
                                                          Is yellow my color?


Life in the MTC


Life has been a little busy, and I have yet to report on the boys' adjustment in the MTC.  Suffice it to say that they are doing well, and that they love it.  I kind of wondered about what Mark was doing down there because he emphatically stated in his first letter, "I don't know why you said it might be hard here, Mom....It's like a big party !!"  I am glad he is enjoying it, and I hope that statement just means that he is having a fine time absorbing everything...!  As luck would have it, they are both in the same district.  As Matthew quipped, "I can't seem to get rid of this guy!"  Well, Matthew and Mark, as the day of your departure from the MTC creeps ever closer, I believe you will actually miss each other.  For the next two years, you will finally be separated from the person you have shared your life with before birth.

   Matthew claims that the Spanish language is coming slowly.  He says that conjugation of verbs is a little hard for him, but it is coming.  It is amazing that they are learning so quickly.  That being said, I have also heard that once a person gets out in the field and really hears the language, it does not sound like the same language they learned in the MTC.
   Mark wrote that he wanted his teddy bear as he was not sleeping well.  He wrote today that receiving his teddy bear has , indeed, helped that problem.  I am so glad, and my mother's heart was softened to hear that my big boy still needed his teddy bear.  It may be another issue if he insists on taking it on his honeymoon. Mark says that attending the temple is a highlight of the week, and that he enjoys it very much.  He likes his companion and says the food is wonderful.  He did, however, ask for candy.  He assures me that he is brushing and flossing his teeth daily.
 
 They loved getting pictures of Ruby, and were quite anxious to hear about her arrival.  They both love kids, and Mark especially loves the little ones.  They will be amazing uncles when they come home.  It seems to me they have been gone a long time instead of just a little over three weeks!   We finally noticed that our Christmas lights were still up and enlisted Bethany to take them down.  The boys have always decorated the house every year, and somehow we missed that little detail until just this week.  My car needs to be vaccumed out; it was always one of the boys who did that little chore.  Mark is a clean freak who cleans up the kitchen nightly so I guess we are learning just who picks up around here!!  Jerry and I will no longer have any excuse once the kids leave:).
 
  They are leaving on Tuesday for their respective missions.  Mother's day is coming up, and I will get to talk with them.  In other news...less than two weeks until our Rachel leaves for the MTC.  Too bad that they barely will miss seeing each other.
                                              Mark, Matthew and the Elders in their District
                                              Looks like a conference (I don't get captions)
                                                 Boys will be boys
                                                              Fireside?
                                                       Mark, Colton, Matthew
                                                     Preach the Gospel
                                                             Mark, Drake, Matthew
Matthew looks like Adam here