I have had things in my teeth, various garments on backwards and inside out, and people who know me well know of the infamous viewing "and this has a multiple meaning" at the funeral home. My own husband who I had gently (okay, not so gently ) only minutes pointed out the oreo cookie crumbs on his lips...neglected to tell me my broomstick skirt was tucked into my undergarments. No, I did not even have on pantyhose. I had availed myself of the facilities moments before getting into the car and had washed my hands carefully. Not as careful about smoothing out my skirt. I stood in the funeral home foyer greeting members of my neighborhood and being oh, so gregarious in spite of the fact that I was at a friend's viewing and my unmentionables were showing. Jerry is usually clueless and even more so on this night. After a few long minutes, a stranger was charitable enough to come to me, cushion my head against her cheek, and whisper urgently, "honey, your skirt is tucked inside your underwear." Oh, the horror I felt, and immediate hatred towards poor Jerry who still didn't get it. I hurriedly backed against a wall and frantically yanked until the offending piece of skirt was dislodged and once again was .... covering my fleshy behind and thighs. Yes, I know the description is horrid, but the event was even more so....
Karen , my friend and Principal , laughs hysterically over the "viewing" story, and so she laughed even harder when we met up at her niece's wedding reception. I was going to skip the refreshments, but the chocolate fountain called out to me. I got a couple of strawberries, and stuck those babies under that delicious melted chocolate, and then Jerry and I made out way towards the exit. I saw Becky, a former Physician's Assistant I had taken Bethany and the boys to and stopped to chat! We carried on a happy conversation for a few minutes. I then ran into Alison Tanner, who is about as oblivious as I am most days. She was as delightful as ever, and we carried on a fine conversation about our missionary children. Karen came upon the two of us, and without any hesitation said, "What is all over your cheek and chin, chocolate?" I immediately put up my hand and came away with a fair amount of brown stuff...yeah, it was chocolate. I was just a little hostile, and said to Alison, "Why would you not tell me I had this all over my face?" Alison said ever so innocently, "Well, I thought maybe it was a bruise, remember when you fell down on the sidewalk?" Yes, I fell down on the sidewalk a couple of years ago, and broke my foot, my hand, and had a huge hematoma over my eye causing a really black bruise. This did not look like that! I don't know if Alison felt properly chagrinned, but I was mildly irritated. Then, I just shrugged and laughed because this kind of thing happens to me all the time. Only..if I am this clueless now, what will I be in ten or twenty years? Maybe I will have to stay confined at home since I can't dress, walk or feed myself properly! Laurie, the mother of the bride, said the story was appropriate for each one of us. I am the one who is always flubbing up, Alison is oblivious to the plight of others, and Karen tells it like it is...
Yes, I know this post has nothing to do with missionary work or the faithful four, but I am venting tonight. I just wanted to write. It has been rather therapeutic, so thank you ! Sometimes I get a little down on myself because I have so many of these stories that seem to bolster the fact that I am kind of a ninny. Do these things happen to other people? Sometimes I think my purpose in life is to make other people feel superior, so there you have it, and you are welcome!!
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| This was my eye right after I fell, it got much worse with each passing day.. I am sorry I do not have a picture of the mishap with the skirt or the chocolate! |
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| At least I am smiling |
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